twins

i always thought that it was crazy that, growing up, my sister and i had to have toys that were exactly alike. i mean we are different people, why do we need the same toys?? (or better yet, the same toy in two different colors!) well i have actually learned the reason behind the madness. my girls have about 50 dolls in the house. for a while they were happy each playing with a doll all their own. how quickly times have changed. there is one doll (and it is hana's), that they both want. there is nothing special about this doll. it does not have eyes that open and close, it does not even have a passie. but whatever the reason, BOTH girls love it. they have been fighting over it constantly for the last few days. me, being the quick thinker that i am, thought about getting another one. the fighting madness has turned me into my mother! so go we did to wal-mart hoping they would have the identical baby (i did not get the first one at wal-mart, but we can hope). and what do you know they had it! now, we are one of the crazies with two identical babies. it seems to have kind of lost its luster now that there are two... oh well at least they are not fighting over the one baby.

scary huh?

hana and God are friends

today hana and i had a very cute conversation on the way to the beach (some of it might be paraphrased a bit, because i don't remember it word for word... but it is still worth repeating).

i told hana that the bible was written by God and everything in it was true. she thought about this for a minute and said "he must have a really big pencil, i have little pencils, he must have a big one" i asked what she meant and she said "if he wrote all of that, he must have a big pencil". i then told her that God asked other people to write down what he said and that is how we got the bible. she said "i am going to be there if he needs me to do anything".
we were also talking about the things that God made and i told her that God made music (i meant that he was the inventor of music... not what she heard). she said "he must have a piano" then she added that maybe God was friends with noah because he has a piano at his house. then she asked me if we could go to God's house to visit. i told her that his house was in heaven and that someday we would go there. i told her that we would all be there with her and that the baby would be there too. she said "the baby that used to be in your tummy?" i said yes, that baby will be there too and we will all be together and she said "that baby is ok, he is there with God"

how much more true can you get?

new background

thanks ashley and hilary for the link to the new backgrounds :)
yea! new background!

swim lessons take 2

Hana has had 2 more swim lessons since the last time I posted. She is doing so well!! (she is doing so well, that I think we are going to take an extra couple of lessons)
She is doing really well going under water by herself and trying to swim. She just doesn't use her arms very well, so she is kind of running under the water and not going very far. Hopefully the extra lessons will help that. In the videos you will see she needs a little help getting any where.
All of that said, here are two short videos of Hana swimming and one of Brooke getting her first taste of swimming :)
Hana swimming to me from the steps


Hana swimming to the steps


Brooke swimming to me


We stayed after swim lessons and played in the pool. Hana is working on swimming with "swimmies"... and giving me a real cute smile in the process!

song and dance

in this video from today, hana is making up songs, while brooke dances and watches her with wonder. what a way for their personalities to show up at these early ages.
our house is real quite these days... sigh...



jimmy may have some competition with his singing :)


I wanted to add a new Hana-ism. We were having breakfast yesterday morning and I offered Hana a vitamin. She always wants orange. I mean I have to dig to the bottom to find her an orange one... well yesterday, she said that both she and Brooke wanted an orange. I told her that we only had one more and that she could have it (because Brooke has no idea what color she gets). Well sweet (this time anyway) Hana said, "Brooke can have the orange and I will have a red". I just thought it was very nice that she wanted to share her favorite color with her sister. Maybe there is hope :)

swim lessons

our friend kj has been giving hana swim lessons this week. so far hana has had 2 lessons (she has 2 more to go). i can not completely testify to what happens at the lessons because i am not there. during the lessons, i walk the neighborhood with brooke. hana does better if i am not there (that seems to be the story of my life). in some of the pictures you can see the bushes that i am hiding behind in order to observe some of the lesson.
so far hana is doing really well. she is voluntarily putting her face under the water. they are working on hana swimming by herself. i am optimistic that by the end of the 4 lessons, hana will be swimming all by herself from one end of the pool to the other :) we will see if that will happen... i doubt it ;) but nevertheless, the swim lessons are great and i am really glad that we are doing them!

jumping in by herself the first day (while i am hiding behind the bushes)

putting her face in the water

swimming to get the "duck" and "fish"

swimming from kj to the steps... by herself under the water!

yea swim lessons!

more pictures to follow from the next 2 lessons :)

a beach day- behind the scenes

When you walk past a group of moms at the beach, you may mistakenly think "oh what a nice relaxing day for them at the beach". This is could not be farther from the truth! I am going to give you insight in to a mom's morning planing for the beach. A behind the scenes if you will.
The morning starts like any other, you get up, get yourself ready and start breakfast. The children (in this case, girls) wake up and are ready to be fed. They eat... and then the fun begins. First you must plan out and make what you (and your 2 kids) are going to eat on your outing. Then you must pack your massive beach bag with all of the beach essentials. Then you get both girls slathered in sunscreen (if wondering why this is a necessity see previous post entitled "red hot") and dressed in their bathing suits. Oh and don't forget about yourself! You must stuff your "mommy body" into a bathing suit :) After the last minute pees and carrying everything out to the car, you are ready to go. All that in under 2 hours is pretty good!
Once you are there you are free to enjoy yourself and your friends. If your children cooperate and want to go where the other kids go... But alas you complete the day with one crying (teething) 16 month old and a 3 1/2 year old saying "I want to go home". What a reward for all of your efforts!
I must add that, I am really thankful for the moms. They help make it worth it to lug all of the stuff (and kids) to and from the beach. We get to have good conversation (when the kids allow it) and a nice tan. I am thankful for their friendship and what they mean to me and my children. And for the beach trips...I would not have it any other way :)

The posse that allows me to be sane after a day at the beach


And the reason that we do all of the hard work :)

new church building

Our church had it's first Sunday in the new building!! I don't have any pictures. I mean, I didn't want to be the geek with a camera at church, although some others didn't mind being "that guy".
The building is amazing!! It is huge and (kind of) has room for everyone. The sanctuary seats around 1500 people and was full at 8:30!

The Lord has really blessed us with this gift!

This is just an artist rendering of the building, it is way cooler in real life :)

Brookie chatter

I was making a list today of all of the words that Brooke can say and knows their meaning. So far I have come up with 25. I will spare you the ENTIRE list, but here are a few highlights (if you are a grandparent and really want the whole list, I can email it to you!). The list does include the typical Mommy and Daddy. But it also includes things like trees, teeth, peas, and Lilly (my parent's dog). Of course I think she is advanced in this area... I mean she is MY child so of course I think she is advanced! And compared to Hana, she is just talking so early. Hana didn't really talk until close to 2, and here Brooke is only 15 months.
It just seems that everyday she is saying something new! The "word of the day" today was... door. Every time we saw a door she pointed and said "door" "door" "door". I just think it is so amazing that her little brain is able to learn new things at such an amazing pace. I am so thankful for her and her daily discoveries!

For those doubting-mustafas here is a video of her saying a lot of words on "the list". She does tend to get stuck on a couple of words... say "Lilly" or "door", but enjoy!

the lake

*note* picture overload to follow!

we just got back from a much needed couple of days at the lake with the fam. while there were some stressful sleeping, over all we had a great time!

we played in the sand

we got to bury the kids
steven edward...

brooke...

and hana :)


hana fed some fish

she even ate some of their food



jack, the girls, and i went to see the dam... we had a dam good
time :)


the girls got to spend some time drinking together :)


brooke liked playing in the sand


we even had time to take some pictures

court and i (got to love the no make-up camping pictures!)


it was jack and my 7th anniversary over the trip, so we got to go out to dinner. in this picture, jack is pimping his i heart ny shirt :)


we had a great time with the fam!

thankful

after walking and talking with monica today, i was thinking about all of the things that i am thankful for.
it started as smaller things... i am thankful that my dr does ultrasounds at 8 weeks, i am thankful that this was found when it was and not further on in the pregnancy, i am very thankful that i already have 2 beautiful healthy children to come home to. my thanks grew to cover more areas... i am thankful that this has brought my husband and i even closer, it has showed me just how strong and selfless he is. i am also thankful that i have been surrounded by loving family and friends, i have felt their love through phone calls, emails, meals, flowers, and their general support. i am most thankful for what the lord has show me... that he is always there for me, he has my life planned out (and those plans do not have to be the same as my plans), he loves me and knows what is best for me.
while i would never have wanted this to happen, i have many positive things from this experience to be thankful for.

songs

Music really ministers to me, especially when times are tough, so here are a couple that I enjoy. I hope these songs speak to you like they speak to me. If anyone has any other songs I am happy to hear them.

Here is "Praise you in this Storm" from the previous post.

Here is another song that helps me through times like this. "Call on Jesus" by Nicole C Mullen

praise you in this storm

Praise You in This Storm
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

Chorus

Hana ballet

Last week, with everything else that was going on, I forgot to share that Hana was in a week long ballet camp. I guess "ballet camp" is not entirly accurate, it was more of a church out-reach that had some ballet. Each day Hana had a little ballet and an art lesson. The first few days Hana did really well, she participated and enjoyed herself. Here is a picture of that (I have actual documentation that she did what everyone else was doing!)


The last few days she was not really all that interested in participating. Part due to the fact that I was not usually the one staying with her (I had several Doctors appointments that caused me to miss it) and part was that she was just working the system. Since the class was led by a young girl (15) and her mom, they did not do a lot to "encourage" Hana to participate. They kind of let her do what she wanted, which was run around. Hana, being Hana, needed a little tough love... oh well, I guess we will know that for next year.
All of that said, she did have a week of dressing up in cute leotards and putting her hair in pig tails (yea!).
So here are some pictures of her looking cute and (kind of) participating the the final performance.


Doing her own thing in the final performance

Everyone else is a dancing flower... Hana is Hana



Oh well... she looked really cute and now we have some cute "dress up" leotards :) Maybe dance just isn't her thing :)

Over

Well the procedure happened yesterday.
They called us and had us come in early at 12:00. We got there and got checked in about 12:15. They called us back at 12:45. "Man, this is great" we were thinking. They got the IV in and got everything ready to go at 1:00. "Wow this is fast" we thought... well then we sat and waited and waited and waited. They finally took me back at 5:00. Everything went fine. The Dr said that physically, everything looked good.
Well all I can say is that I am glad that it is all over. We are now starting the healing process both mentally and physically.



Thank you for all of your thoughts, calls, and prayers. They mean so much to us. Thank you.

Plans (update with time of procedure)

As many of you know, I was unexpectedly pregnant with baby number 3. We were not planning for it, but were excited that God had surprised us with this gift. I had a blog ready to post about God's plans not being my plans in which I announced that I was pregnant. I shared how everyone in our church picks a word each year to focus on (instead of a New year's Resolution) and my word for this year is "intentional". I had originally intended the word to be for me... I wanted to be intentional with my quite time, I wanted to be intentional about our finances... things that all revolved around me. I shared how through this unexpected pregnancy I had seen how God changed the definition of my one word and how his plans (even though they were not my plans) were intentional for me. Well somehow God's plans once again do not match up with mine.
When I went in on Monday for my 8 week ultrasound, we discovered that the baby was not developed. The outer "sac" was on schedule (measuring 8 weeks) but the baby had stopped developing at 6 weeks. I went back today to confirm these results and nothing has changed. I am scheduled to have a D&E tomorrow. I am not quite sure how to feel at this point.
I do not have a time for the procedure, I have to call tonight and they will (hopefully) let me know. So I am praying that I will be able to get this done early in the morning.
I have yet to learn what God is teaching me through all of this. I just pray that I will learn something through this and that is was not for nothing.

I thank you for all of you who have been there for me and will continue to be there for me during the duration of this healing process.

** My procedure will be tomorrow at 5:00 in the evening. It is not what I had hoped, but I will be able to eat in the morning and can have clear liquids until 1:00. I know that it is going to be a long day. I would appreciate any prayers that you could send our way.**